Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time a boy met a girl.  They were married, had 2 children and lived happily ever after......

No wait, that's not quite how it goes.     In 1987 I had moved back from Boston where I did my undergraduate work and had worked for 6 years to spend 2 years in Philadelphia (near where I grew up) to get my graduate degree and move back to Boston.  Well, 4 years later I finally finished my graduate degree, but was working at a job I loved so hadn't yet thought about moving back.  A year later I started dating my future husband.  We actually had worked together since I had moved back, but didn't really know each other.  He had been divorced several years earlier and had 2 teen aged daughters.  Fast forward a year (now we are in 1993) and we are married.  18 months later we become proud parents of a daughter and surprise, 3 years after that a boy!!! 

Fast forward a few more years.   In September 2005  Husband goes for a routine colonoscopy that turns out to be anything but routine.  He has 1/3 of his colon removed and they find a plasmacytoma, a cancerous tumor normally found in bones.  We are told that when they are found in the bone they can progress to multiple myeloma, bone marrow cancer - but that although they will follow him every 6 months they don't expect his to do anything.

yeah right.  A year later he has normal blood work.  2 months after that (November 2006) he is in full blown mulitple myeloma,, life expectancy less than 5 years.  BUT  if he can go into remission and have a stem cell transplant his chances increase to 10 years, and with development of new meds "all the time" probably even longer.  

June 07,  very successful stem cell, blood counts return to normal by end of summer and all looks good.   December 07 flu like symptoms.  Cancer has returned.   Jan 3, 2008 (my birthday)  he has developed plasma cell leukemia,  expected to survive no more than 2 months.    3 weeks later out of hospital returned to work, blood counts normal.  3 rounds of chemo, all is looking good.  May 8, 2008 (his birthday) blood counts normal.   June 5, 2008 to clinic for "routine" blood work.  Numbers look off.  Admitted with signs of infection.  June 10th, discharged.  Looks a lot worse to me but they tell me he's fine.   June 11th, teaches last day of school for the year, turns in grades and coaches basketball team in summer league.  Barely makes it home he is so sick.   June 12th I am gone for work all day.  Return home he has a fever.  First one ever with this whole thing.  To ER, admitted.    Phone call at 4 am June 13th, they are putting him on a vent and taking him to emergency surgery, fluid building up in abdomen, they don't know why.  Sun June 15th, return to OR all goes well removing fluid.  On my insistence they start chemo again - still just looks like infection but nothing is working and I am convinced cancer is back.  Monday June 16th, blood counts are normal - apparently I was right, cancer is back but is responding.  Tues June 17th, to OR for more fluid removal  Dies of a pulmonary embolism AFTER successful surgery after being moved from OR table to bed to come back upstairs.  

Dave dies exactly one month shy of our 15th wedding anniversary.  I am devastated.  Sure I cannot last a day.   I have a 10 year old, a 13 year old, and 29 and 33 year old step daughters.   What am I going to do????