National Survivors Day

Sunday was National Survivors Day, for those who "survived" cancer.   I don't know why.  But some posts and presentations of this made it seem as those who "survived" somehow did something "better" or where "more deserving" than those who didn't.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am happy for each and every person who "beat" cancer.  And overjoyed for their family members.   Even if, I admit, I am, at times, a bit, or even more than a bit jealous.  Yes, even after almost 7 years I have my moments of "why them and why not us".  

But this brings  me to another thought.  There are many many of us out there who are "survivors" of cancer.  Even if we were not the ones who had it.

You often read that cancer affects the whole family. And yes.  It does.  Try as you might to keep things "normal" for the kids.  It.  affects.   every. one.    And those of us who were affected by cancer,  and who continue on AFTER we lost our loved one, in my mind, we too are "survivors" of cancer.

We survived the death of someone very close to us.
We continue to survive even when sometimes we don't want to.
We survive the stupid (although generally well meaning) comments
We survive the holidays
We survive the passing of milestones, the passing of years.
We survive reading the gut wrenching stories of the "new treatments" and the patients who long out lived our loved ones - the ones that bring hope, while the same time making us wonder why it didn't happen when our loved one could have benefited
We survive witnessing the torment our children go through as they mature and go through life events without their parent, or sibling, or extended family member or friend along side of them
We survive the financial hardships
We survive the devastating life events that we should have been together for
We survive illness alone

i guess my list could go on and on.  And again.  I take nothing away from those who are now cancer free.   And I take nothing from their caregivers, the ones who drastically altered their lives as they battled together.    

But I also acknowledge the rest of us who "survived", long after our loved one didn't.  When we wondered how we would survive one minute, one hour, one day.  Convinced we could never survive one year.  But we did.    So "Happy" Cancer Survivor Day - not only  to those who beat this wretched disease, but to those who where forced to survive when they lost a part of their heart.